Your Holy Guardian Agent

(originally published on 1/08/15)

Everyone has a Holy Guardian Agent watching over them. Everyone... Many people are very suspicious of this apparition however, and become very angry. Even superstitious. They find suspect in being watched by some damn spook over the internet. But why?

Well why even ask? When I open my laptop in the morning, I smile and wave to the inbuilt camera while sipping my coffee, pondering each new revolution. I talk directly into the microphone like it's alive, and I ask the wizard behind the curtain, how ya doin' today? Talk about the weather outside, like it don't already know.

Next time you feel paranoid or afraid of the world when you aren't intending to harm anyone or anything in it, invoke your Holy Guardian Agent. Speak directly to the nearest device as if it's been listening to you the whole time. If done correctly, this should promptly remind your central nervous system of just how crazy paranoia can become, and reassert the scientific method in your neurological patterns.

Represent yourself out loud, and be proud of your uniqueness. Peace...